What do you do when life hits harder than you ever imagined? When the plan you worked so hard to build falls apart, the people you trusted let you down, or the weight of it all feels too much to carry? Getting knocked down is inevitable—but staying down doesn't have to be.
On our podcast, That Sh*t Doesn't Define You, we dive deep with our special guest, Lindsey Scott, into the challenging moments in life that break us and, most importantly, how we can rise again. Today, I will break down the key insights from our conversation and share actionable steps to help you bounce back stronger after life knocks you down.
Resilience Is Built, Not Born
Resilience isn't a trait that some people are born with, and others aren't. Resilience is a skill—just like any skill, it can be built over time. You don't have to be superhuman to be resilient. It's about developing the mindset and strategies to recover and thrive when life gets tough.
In her 2015 study on resilience, Dr. Ann Masten introduced the concept of "ordinary magic." She found that resilience comes from everyday psychological processes like optimism, problem-solving, and supportive relationships. It's not about avoiding adversity but how we respond to it.
What this means for you: You can develop resilience by practicing optimism, learning problem-solving techniques, and cultivating a support network. It's not about invincibility—it's about using the resources around you and within you to overcome life's challenges.
The Science of Resilience: Neuroplasticity and Recovery
The brain has an incredible ability to adapt and recover after setbacks or trauma. This is where neuroplasticity comes in—the brain's ability to rewire itself after emotional or physical stress. Studies in Nature Reviews Neuroscience (2011) highlight that positive habits like mindfulness, gratitude, and seeking support can "retrain" our brains to become more resilient.
What this means for you: You can rewire your brain for resilience. When you intentionally engage in habits that promote mental and emotional health, you're helping your brain recover and rebuild from setbacks.
Connection: The Key to Overcoming Adversity
As human beings, we're not meant to go through tough times alone. Connection and support are crucial in helping us recover from setbacks. Research published in The American Journal of Psychiatry (2004) found that individuals with strong social support are more likely to recover from trauma and depression. It turns out that the simple act of reaching out to others—whether a friend, family member, or mentor—can make all the difference when life feels overwhelming.
What this means for you: Don't isolate yourself. Seek out support when you need it. Having strong relationships and a community around you can provide the strength, perspective, and emotional healing you need to rise after adversity.
Actionable Steps for Getting Back Up
- Acknowledge and Accept Where You Are
- Why It Works: You can't move forward until you face reality. Acceptance isn't about giving up—it's about starting from a place of truth and clarity.
- What to Do: Take 5 minutes to reflect on your current situation.
- "What happened?"
- "How am I feeling about it?"
- "What can I control right now?"
- Practical Tip: Repeat this affirmation: "This is where I am, but it's not where I'm staying."
- Set a Small, Achievable Goal for Today
- Why It Works: Focusing on one small action builds momentum and confidence when life feels overwhelming.
- What to Do: Identify one small action that you can take today. For example:
- Sending an email you've been avoiding.
- Taking a 10-minute walk to clear your mind.
- Reaching out to someone for support.
- Practical Tip: Celebrate that small win—it's proof that you're moving forward.
- Reframe Your Setback as a Lesson
- Why It Works: Shifting your mindset from "failure" to "growth opportunity" helps you build resilience.
- What to Do: Reflect on your setback and ask:
- "What did I learn from this experience?"
- "How can this lesson help me in the future?"
- "What strengths have I discovered because of this challenge?"
- Practical Tip: Create a mantra to reframe the experience. Example: "This is not the end—this is a new beginning."
- Build Your Support System
- Why It Works: Connection is key to recovery. Surrounding yourself with the right people helps you regain perspective and strength.
- What to Do: Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or coach. Share your situation and ask for their insights or encouragement.
- Practical Tip: Commit to one meaningful conversation this week to remind yourself you're not alone.
You're Stronger Than You Think
Getting back up after life knocks you down isn't about being perfect. It's about progress. Start by accepting where you are, taking small steps forward, and reframing your setbacks as opportunities for growth. Resilience is built, not born, and you have everything it takes to rise above whatever challenges life throws you.
Check out our podcast if you want to dive deeper into this conversation and hear more about resilience from Lindsey Scott.
Let’s keep moving forward, together. You've got this.
